Introduction to the book

Introduction    

Roughly 50% of all marriages fail and a large percentage of those do not survive 5 years. Divorce is painful, not only for you but for your entire family. If you are considering marriage for the first time or if you are someone who has tried and failed, this information will give you an opportunity to meet the one you will love for the rest of your life.

 In researching causes of divorce many are listed by divorcees including,

©      money problems

©      lack of communication

©      infidelity

©      misaligned sex drive

©      age at time of marriage

©      drugs and alcohol

©      marriages of convenience

©      physical abuse

©      unwillingness to work

Many marriages appear doomed from the very start for some couples. Take a look at these causes of divorce mentioned in divorce blogs.

©      disregard for vows

©      neglectful behavior

©      rebounding from a failed marriage

©      marrying because all your friends are married

©      infatuated with the idea of big wedding

©      electing to marry because of pregnancy

©      dishonesty

©      having married to not be alone

©      mental abuse

©      having missed the red flags

Christian web sites list these as probable causes, estrangement from God, lack of forgiveness, resentment, being judgmental, believing marriage will make you happy, not willing to attend church, spouse is not a Christian, or lack of belief in God. There are as many reasons for divorces as there are divorced people.

It is clear that our parents did not give us a set of tools to use in the process of finding a mate. Further, there is no Marriage 101 class to prepare you for the most important decision we will all make in this lifetime. Consider that in the early years of dating we mostly dated people to whom we were physically attracted, or possibly we dated people who were willing to accept the offer of a date. If you are still using those methods and you are dating people you find on dating sites, people you find in bars, or at the grocery, people you meet in church, or elsewhere a good set of tools to aid in the screening/selection process will increase your chances of success immensely.

In my immediately family and that of my wife there have been fourteen divorces, from a total of five brothers and sisters and their spouses. My guess is that if you were to closely examine your family tree you might see the same kind of numbers. However, our parents set a good example all married over 50 years none divorced. What happened to us baby boomers, not sure? This book was started with the sole purpose of giving our grandchildren the tools to, hopefully, stop history from repeating itself. This book has been published to give you and your family the same opportunity.

Here you will find a list of qualities or, traits of human consciousness to choose from, to begin to assimilate ideas about the qualities you require in a mate. We will discuss Attitudes, Attributes, Skills and  Social Endowments so that you can become aware of the possibilities  You will be given ideas on how to refine your list and create it so that your marriage has an outstanding chance to be successful and fulfilling. Finally, we will discuss proven methods of attraction being used by successful people every day. It is clear to me that not only can you attract the right life mate, you can attract most anything you want in your life.

Now please join me in HOW TO FIND THE ONE YOU WILL LOVE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

              

           HOW TO FIND THE ONE YOU WILL LOVE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
A book based closely on the premise that people who are searching for a mate are terribly unprepared for the task ahead of them. The divorce rate is at or near 50% for every new couple getting married today, the majority of these marriages will last 5 years or less. In my own family and that of my wife's there are a total of 5 brothers and sisters, those individuals and their spouses account for a total of 12 divorces. All of our parents and all of our grandparents were married only once and for over 50 years each. I am confused about what has happened to the baby boomer generation and would love to know what was so different about the group that all made marriage last over 50 years. Sadly, a lot of them are gone and it is too late to ask them what they see as the difference in our generations.

The task I have set out to complete is to inform as many people as I can that some deliberate preperation, at the very least, gives you a better shot at being successful in your NEXT marriage. If you have never been married you can be successful at your FIRST attempt. Since our parents did not provide us a road map to find a mate by with your help I am going to compile the information into a book and make it available to all. My first for begining this process was to give our grandchildren a chance to get it right the first time. My wife and I would like to see the divorce trend in our family stop. We would like stop the saddness of failure you see in every person striken by this epidemic. It would be rewarding to see a majority of whole familes not being forced to work around custody disagreements.
Please help with your input from your marriages, successful or failed.